Slay queens and financial dependence

Phillipa Jaja

This article was inspired by a question posed on a radio show on Power FM hosted by a presenter,  Popsy.

She had asked a question in which she wanted to know resultant reactions to a blesser withdrawing financial support to either a slay queen or a slay man.

This resulted in hilarious answers prompting further analysis such as this one.

The post 2 000 era has ushered in a generation that has redefined life as we know it. The dictionary has also been re-arranged to include terms such as slay queen, slay man and blessers etc.

A slay queen is thus defined as a young lady who primps herself and has a vast social media influence mostly with the intention of attracting men, usually older men known as blessers who will sponsor her expensive lifestyle. The same is true for a slay man whose intention is to lure much older moneyed women known as cougars.

The result is that there is a one way exchange of money and resources in return for sexual and companionship favors.

Such a model has less chances of success as many get dumped with nothing to show for it. So few are those that get to establish permanent relationships such as marriage. This is the reason why the slay queen-blesser relationship is not a favorable one as it is characterized by insecurity. The main one is economic instability as one can be reduced to a beggar once financial resources are withdrawn.

Slay queens being social influencers thrive on setting trends be it fashion or technology. They are the first people to own that expensive outfit, those expensive loubotins and Brazilian weaves.  They also own the latest model of iPhone some of which have not been introduced in the country. They usually stay in the CBD (central business district) doling out loads of money on expensive apartments. They eat and dine on expensive food and wine whilst driving the latest range of motor vehicles. They also tend to have a heavy presence on social media platforms in an effort to show and sell an impossible lifestyle most peers can not attain. All of this is usually made possible by a rich man who sponsors their expensive lifestyle.

Very few possess the insight of  future investments for a secure future. Living for the moment seems to be their mantra. Most of them just do not dream of a possible future where they are left to fend for themselves or to pay for their own bills. However such eventualities do exist and as so often happens many have been left nursing crippling financial burdens. People that responded to Popsy alluded to earlier gave some very hilarious answers whereby some alleged being left and feeling like they had been retrenched at work. Some said having a blesser withdrawing financial favors felt like a parent had died with someone alleging they had been physically ill after being left to fend for themselves.

Such are the consequences of financial reliance which have social and psychological impact on those involved. Socially and often understated is the fact that such arrangements are a breeding ground for domestic violence which is seldom addressed as victims fear financial reprieve. Most often, perpetrators have unlimited control over victims which they use to keep the victim in check and it is never challenged.

Slay queens are thus ideal candidates for not only domestic abuse but mental health problems as well because of stress. The absence of an outlet for emotional release renders them vulnerable to psychological abuse as they are reliant on blessers who might destroy their self- esteem through physical and emotional abuse leaving them traumatized.

Therefore, the panacea for financial dependence is sound and practical advice which will not limit them to a begging status in a relationship. Relationships and personal preferences cannot be discriminated upon, however there is need for rational decisions which will wean people off financial dependence. Slay queens should work as a means of self-sustenance. Moreover, where money has been availed to them, they should look for possible investment opportunities so as to secure their future financially.

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